You forgot some:
Good god it got better.
I want to add This guys:
Those women are doing a public service, Chris.
Bury me in this.
Get buried in this, get found by archeologists ten thousand years later, get presumed some kind of monarch or holy figure.
Hey guys, I have a big box of 1000 peacock feathers, it’s probably enough to do this.
Dan: I’m gonna sit my kids down when they get to the age of 12 and go, “What’ve you done?! I had done two films by now!”
#harry could do this to his kids too #’I HAD DEFEATED VOLDEMORT THREE TIMES WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE - YOU CAN’T EVEN TIE YOUR SHOELACES’ #’WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN’T SPEAK YET? WHEN I WAS A YEAR OLD I HAD DEFEATED THE MOST POWERFUL WIZARD IN THE WORLD. YOU’RE A DISAPPOINTMENT TO US ALL’
The cast of Matilda reenacted the Bruce Bogtrotter cake scene for the movies 17th anniversary [x]
5 year old Robert Downey Jr. in his first role.
Robert has no regrets.
its really hard being a Hindu, because i wanna taste beef but i can’t because of religion. damn.
mY SKIN IS WHITE???
I’M NOT INDIAN???? I’VE NOT BEEN A HINDU FOR 16 YEARS BECAUSE MY PARENTS ARE ALSO HINDUS??
cAN I FINALLY STOP WORSHIPPING COWS?!?!?!!
The Sociological Cinema
There was actually research that was done that found that women who used an “I have a boyfriend/husband” excuse to reject unwanted sexual attention and harassment by their bosses were more likely to be left alone than those who used any other excuse (including “I’m not interested”)
Because men respect another man’s property (and that’s how they see us) than a woman’s autonomy.
words i use in every sentence:
That’s a sentence right there
Forwards and backwards
You can rearrange them in any order and it’ll be a sentence
ladies and gentlemen the extensive vocabulary of tumblr
There is literally nothing better than a sexy, badass lady.
CHING MOTHERFUCKING SHIH
This lady was such a badass, I can’t count the ways, but let’s try.
She got married to an already successful pirate, Zheng Yi, and took over when he died. She was crazy strict to keep an iron fist over her fleet of pirates, and the punishments for stepping out of line were brutal. If you stole or looted from a town that provided assistance or tribute to the pirate fleet, Ching would chop your fucking head off with a battle axe and dump your lifeless body in the ocean. If you stole from the pirate treasury, or she thought you were stealing from the pirate treasury, Ching would chop your fucking head off dump your lifeless body in the ocean. Raping any captured female prisoners was punishable by immediate death. Fuck, if you had consensual sex while on duty you got your head chopped off and the woman was chucked off the boat no matter where they were at. Ching wasn’t fucking around, and she wanted to make damn sure you weren’t fucking around when you should have been working.
Two years after she took over, she got so notorious for ransacking towns and taking taxes on them that she pissed off the entire Chinese government, and sent out a massive fleet to bring her in line. Most pirates probably would’ve said this was out of their pay grade and taken off to hide out or ransack some other country.
Ching Shih said fuck that.
She not only faced them head on, she wiped the floor with them, killing hundreds and capturing sixty-something ships from the Imperial Fleet. Prisoners were given the choice of joining up or being executed on the spot. The Admiral of the Chinese navy, Kwo Lang, was so afraid of being captured by her or going back to admit he’d been beaten by her that he committed suicide.
For the next two years, Ching Shih not only kept on pirating, she fought off Chinese forces as well as Dutch and British warships that the navy called in to help. Finally the government gave up and offered her amnesty as well as amnesty for her then SEVENTEEN THOUSAND crewman. Ching Shih got to keep all her plunder, so she retired to the countryside where she opened up a brothel and lived until she was 69.
tldr: I’ve come to terms with the reality that I’ll never be as terrifyingly badass as this woman was.
i will be as badass as she
You know, I heard of her, but I’d either forgotten or never heard that she grew old and retired having never been brought down or defeated ever.
She won being a pirate.
She got history’s high score.
Always reblog the best pirate of all times.